What are the deep keys of influence ?
How do you really getpeople to do what you desire
There are dozens of show on TV these days , books and trainings (for example NLP and hypnotherapy) that say they will show you how to get people to do what you want. However , can you really do it ?
Well , the truth is yes AND no!
The truth is we can’t say some wizardly words and have other people do our bidding – and that’s a blessing , as it would mean that we all could potentially be manipulated by anybody .
Yet everyday we are influencing people without even knowing it . In fact , we cannot NOT influence.
Every time you enter a place or meet someone , you are influencing their thinking and behavioursjust by being there in the same environment .
Whenever you say anything you are affecting what is happening in that person’s mind.
Whenever we send any communication we are influencing other people , and hence it would be a good idea to know how we are influencing others and how we can do it better to get better results !
Here are some steps to influence:
- Begin from a ‘win-win’ mentality
Others will usually know if you are trying to take them for a ride – even if it works for a little , they will not like it. It is important to consider a positive result for the other person as well as ourselves - Ask yourself ‘What’s in it for them ?’
The only way to effectively influence anyone else is to ask yourself what is in it for them. If you can answer that simple question and demonstrate how they can get it , you can move mountains ! - Build rapport
Initially when I attended an NLP Training I discovered some incredibly strong skills for developing rapport. This is developed through matching and mirroring – basically creating similarity with the other person, or pacing their behaviour. For example , assuming a similar posture to them – if they have their arms folded , cross your arms. Find common areas of interest in communication . - Put yourself in the perspective of the other person
Try to really internally construct what is in the mind of the other person. If your communication doesn’t work , keep changing what you are doing until you are getting the outcome you desire . Remember that if your communication doesn’t get the desired outcome , it may be largely regarding how you are communicating it, not them – be flexible! - Offer the other person something
The law of reciprocity says that when we give somebody something , they will want to do something for us . So at any chance you can, help other people – one day you’ll be happy you did when they help you !
Take note of these steps to influence and you’ll get some pretty great results. There are many more steps that can also influence , and as an associate who is a hypnotherapist in London once said ‘resistance in other people is commonly a sign of our own inflexibility’.